Hi, hi, hi! Helloooo everyone!
This week was full of craziness and emotions.
On Tuesday morning, we found out that our car was recalled. Grrrrrreat. So we had to take it in to the dealership and have them check it out. Apparently more than 50% of the new mission vehicles has to be taken back because of flaws. So we were SO grateful when ours was okay. But we spent most of the day sitting in the dealership. We met several members who worked there- and that's who sent you the pictures. :) We had to drive into Meridian to take the car there and BOY OH BOY was that the scariest thing ever. After driving in Kuna for the past 2-3 months (country roads, no cars.... ever), driving on the busy "city" streets was the scariest thing of my life. Especially when you're in a mission vehicle AND you're driving right behind Elder Short (the senior missionary in charge of mission vehicles). If you knew Elder Short, you'd know that that is a veryyyyy scary experience. But we also went through a car wash- that's as fun as it gets as a missionary. The next best thing to an amusement park. haha!
My companions are... struggling. I never realized how much home sickness can hit someone. I'm so glad that my parents prepared me for the time when I would leave home. Yes, it's hard. But moments like these (being on a mission) allow you the great opportunity of turning to the Savior for strength and comfort. Missions aren't meant to torture you. They're meant to help you come closer to the Savior and, through you, allow others to do the same.
Okay... My life Thursday through Sunday:
I was worried that I wouldn't be able to tell you about what I was doing, but I received permission from President and his wife. And I probably won't write a lot again this week... this experience was (for lack of a better word) traumatic for me. But I grew a lot- and that's why I'm sharing it.
On Thursday morning at about 7:45 a.m., I got a call from President Cannon. He told me that he needed me to go to Nampa and that, when I got there, I would meet my new companion. But first, I needed to report to the mission home and get filled in on the situation. I was being emergency transferred.
"Okay President. I'll pack up and be there in an hour."
I got to the mission home and Sister Cannon greeted me. She told me about my new companion.
"This Sister is mentally ill. This Sister has extreme depression and anxiety. She is severely bi-polar and can change at the snap of your fingers. She has a personality disorder. She is ADD. She has had history of throwing things at her companions and that I needed to watch for any behavior that may cause her, or myself, any harm. She is irrational and unstable. Will you be able to do this?"
Of course, I accepted. That's what I had been taught to do by my parents. I had hope that I could fulfill this assignment. Sister Cannon then explained that she would be going home in 10 days and it was my job to watch over her until her departure date. Easy enough. I was given permission to stay home when needed, to go out to lunch or frozen yogurt as rewards for the Sisters good behavior, and to call President at any given time that I thought that I was in harms way.
I was only there until Sunday and then I asked to return to my own area. I'm sorry to say this, but I gave up. I couldn't handle it anymore. I think it was a good thing though- I knew when I couldn't handle any more. *Sister Cannon says Hello, by the way*
I was having a really difficult time. This was the lowest I had ever been on my mission. I couldn't feel the spirit. I didn't feel safe. I felt completely and hopelessly alone. There were some nights when I couldn't sleep and I spent the night praying for Heavenly Father to place a shield around me, to comfort me and keep me safe (emotionally and physically). I wasn't allowed to keep any food in the apartment. I had to take on a lot of verbal abuse- constantly. And I couldn't say a thing because I knew that I wouldn't win. I couldn't talk to ward members. I was really just... there.
On a good day, I took this Sister out to lunch. I had been praying that Heavenly Father would give me strength to finish this assignment. I had felt his love and comfort- but I needed more help. And, that day, my prayers were answered through a fortune cookie. I know it's a little silly. But after we finished eating, I opened up my fortune cookie and read: "Don't underestimate yourself. Your social skills are needed by others at this time." Wow. Okay, like I said, this is silly. But I think that Heavenly Father knew that I needed a lot of extra help that day to just make it through. It helped me to not stay angry when this Sister rejected my suggestions, almost broke my glasses, wouldn't let me teach people, or would offend ward members. It helped me to remember that I had something to offer. It helped me be patient and kind. It helped me to serve, because it's my duty as a Daughter of God, and because I had a desire to.
There were a lot of bad moments, but there were also good ones as well. There were moments when this Sisters true personality would shine through- and I had the opportunity to see her happy and talk with her about how she was feeling. She had a strong testimony of her Savior, Jesus Christ. She knew that through His atonement she would be made perfect one day. She made me an owl made of wire- it was beautiful! She would thank me for being there and helping her. She would talk about her experiences as a missionary and the blessings that she had felt in her life. She even sat down and taught ME all of the missionary discussions. She was a great missionary.
I got a call the night that I left her area that said that this Sister would be returning home earlier than planned. I am so grateful that she has the chance to return home and to get help for these problems.
Through this experience, although I am still healing from it, I have learned so many valuable lessons. I have learned gratitude. I have learned trust. I am so grateful for our loving Heavenly Father. He watches over us and protects us. He provided for us a Savior, Jesus Christ. Through His atonement, we are all able to become perfect and return to Him one day. I am forever grateful for that.
I can do all things through God, who strengthens me.
Sending everyone my love,
Sister Gubler
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