The Atonement of Jesus Christ has power to lift us up and give us strength to continue on when we fall and fail.
This is something that I have spent many hours studying, thinking, and praying about. It is a topic that has been very dear to me throughout my life, but especially through the past 16 months or so.
My main focus of study, for and with these sisters, was the atonement. Through our desires to become better, we all knew that there would be mistakes. There would be missteps- even when all these girls had desired was to become closer to their Heavenly Father.
I had always wanted to serve a mission… But I was too caught up in my mistakes and my doubts to move forward. It was only through my new found knowledge of the atonement that I was able to move forward. At the beginning of my journey, I found myself asking questions like: How can I represent Christ when I have made so many mistakes? How can someone who is so imperfect teach others about the gospel?
During this time I asked myself a few questions that I truly wanted answers to:
What is the Atonement?
How is it important?
How do we use it? / How does it help us?
How do we apply it every day?
One of the purposes of this life is to gain experience and education that will bring us closer to our Heavenly Father. We are given trials in order to achieve that purpose. With these trials, we are bound to make mistakes. That is why we have been provided with an atonement to redeem us and allow us to return into the presence of our Heavenly Father. In fact, the word ‘Atonement’ (from the Bible Dictionary) means- At One or At One with God. In order to understand the Atonement, we must first understand that we are children of a loving Heavenly Father. As I am not yet a parent, I cannot fully comprehend the love that a mother or father has for their children. But I do know that it is great. I know that a loving parent would want to be with their children forever. And I know that a child would want to be with their parent forever. So, a plan was made. The Savior suffered in the garden of Gethsemane, felt our physical/emotional/spiritual pains, and died on the cross FOR US. Because HE LOVED US.
However, this atonement is conditional upon us accepting repentance. Think of it as a present.
Imagine the Lord wandering around the mall and finding the perfect gift to give us for Christmas. He checks the price tag- and knowing how much it costs and knowing that there is no return policy- purchases the gift! He wraps it with love. With joy he holds it out to us with arms outstretched and a huge smile on His face.
He bought it for us. The Lord cannot take it for Himself.
So we take it, and give Him a gentle thank you.
Do we keep it wrapped? Or do we unwrap it? Do we look at the gift and say to ourselves, “This was way too expensive! I can’t use this!” And hide it under the bed?
Or do we use the gift with gratitude for how much He loves us?
So many times, we do not believe that we can repent. We do not believe that we are worthy of Heavenly Father’s love. This reminds me of a quote by Ezra Taft Benson. He said, “Some of the greatest battles you will face will be fought within the silent chambers of your own soul.”
Satan will try and make us believe that we are not good enough, that we cannot repent and change ourselves. His number one goal is to make us miserable, like unto himself. We often see ourselves in terms of yesterday and today- but we need to understand that Heavenly Father sees us in terms of FOREVER. He sees us as Glorious Beings. He knows who we truly are, who we can become and what we can achieve.
Craig A. Cardon, April 2013 General Conference (paraphrasing his talk)
“The Lord does not limit forgiveness because of the gravity of the sin. The Savior WANTS to forgive. He allows for improvement over time, rather than asking for immediate perfection. We need to bear in mind that ‘people can change’. (Thomas S. Monson) The Lord knows what we are facing and knows that we will fall short again and again.”
Isn’t this so comforting? So many times we fail to repent because we feel like we can never be forgiven. Or we don’t repent because we’re worried that we will mess up again and repentance is too much of a worry. But, part of the process of our repentance is learning that we can change and improve. We oftentimes look at our mistakes as terrible sins that we believe are unforgivable. As children, we would often make mistakes- maybe even all the time! But, with our parents giving us a small lecture and their disappointed faces, we would understand that we were in the wrong. And from that point on we would learn, grow, and try to improve. Just because we made a mistake as a child did not determine who we are today! We learned and changed! And we still are. This is much like our relationship with our Heavenly Father. Repentance is not punishment. May I remind you of a scripture?
Mosiah 12:27
“And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.”
In Alma chapter 36, Alma recounts his own experience with repentance. Alma and the sons of Mosiah were visited by an angel and Alma was knocked down and was unconscious for several days. He talks about how he was racked with endless torment because of the memory of his sins. But as he sat in this torment, he remembered Jesus Christ, who would come and atone for the sins of the world. He then proceeds to plead for forgiveness, through Christ. After this, he feels exceedingly great joy, no pain and isn’t harrowed (or tortured) up from his memories anymore.
Elder Holland said, “The past is to be learned from, but not lived in.” Alma is a great example of looking forward… He remembered his past as a remembrance to be better. Alma moved on in his life to become a remarkable missionary. Repentance does not wipe our memories clean of what we have done. As I was reading this scripture one day, something dawned on me. And it took me a long time to realize this too. When there is something that you really need to repent of, it will eat at you. You will feel guilt and misery. But once you repent, those feelings will subside and you will feel happiness and a closeness to your Heavenly Father. However, I once believed that when you repented (because the Lord blotted out the sin and didn’t remember them) that I would not remember them either. This is not necessarily the case. We may still remember our sins - however- this remembrance (is not a painful remembrance) and will stand as a reminder for us to not follow that same road.
Pres. Uchtdorf (Of Regrets and Resolutions): “The Savior can wipe away our tears of regret and remove the burden of our sins. His atonement allows us to leave our past behind and move forward with clean hands, a pure heart, and a determination to do better and especially to BECOME better.”
But, the atonement is not only about repentance. The atonement can bring us comfort through whatever we go through. There is not one person who doesn’t need the atonement. I turned to some friends and asked, “How has the atonement brought you strength?” The responses I received were remarkable.
One said… I receive strength from knowing that Jesus Christ suffered everything that anyone could ever possibly suffer and more. He knows what we are going through and what we’ve been through. He has the knowledge and the power to heal any hurt, any abuse, any fear, any anxiety, and any kind of pain. When I talk with others and hear sad stories that I can’t imagine living through, I think, “I cannot heal your pain, but God can. He can and He will.” That gives me a great source of peace and strength.
Hearing her comments touched me. In particular, the comment about how he can calm any fear or anxiety. Through the atonement, we can experience true peace- which is the peace of God. This peace can only be found through the Savior.
Just recently, I had an experience where I was feeling completely overwhelmed about a decision in my life. It was a decision that I had already made a while back- but I needed an extra confirmation. I did not know who I could talk to, or where to turn to feel better. Anything that anyone said to me was not solving my problems- but making me think more and dwell on my problems. I felt alone and like I couldn’t handle my own emotions. So, I turned to prayer. I prayed not only that I would know what I should do, but that I would feel comfort and peace in my decision. My prayer was answered. As I listened and searched for Heavenly Father’s helping hand in my life- I found many different evidences of His love. My fear/doubts/anxiety went away. I felt free- for the first time in days. I experienced small miracles in my life that allowed me to feel of his love and peace.
“No matter how many times you have slipped or fallen, rise up! Your destiny is a glorious one! Stand tall and walk in the light of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ! You are stronger than you realize. You are more capable than you can imagine. You can do it now!” –President Uchtdorf 2013 Priesthood Session
I am excited to spread my knowledge of this gospel to the ends of the earth. This gospel is not only for me and my family, but for all of God’s children. I know that, through it, they can receive a happiness and a closeness to their Heavenly Father that may have once been missing.
Brothers and Sisters, I can’t be anything less than happy when I have what I have and I know what I know.
I know that there’s hope. I believe and have faith in Christ’s atonement. I know that I can be saved from my sins….I am eternally grateful for my Savior, Jesus Christ. I am grateful for His sacrifice for me and my sins. He endured so much pain, grief, and sorrow for the world. I feel waves of inadequacy. I know that I can be so much better than how I am right now. Even Jesus Christ relied on His Heavenly Father for comfort during His time on the earth. He was just as human as the rest of us. He didn’t have super human strength. He didn’t have the ability to block out pain. He was entirely a mortal man –and yet he did what he did.
Brothers and Sisters, I know that this gospel is true. God is our Heavenly Father and we are His children. He loves us. I know that God answers our prayers. It may not be the way we want it to, or in the time that we want it to- but he will. He will never forget us. I know that the Bible and Book of Mormon are the word of God. I know that Joseph Smith was a true prophet who restored this gospel on the earth today. I know that through the power and authority of God he translated the Book of Mormon. I know that families are eternal. I know that Thomas S. Monson is the prophet today and that he is the mouthpiece for the Lord in our time. I know that through atonement we can repent and change. Through use of the atonement, we can feel hope, peace, comfort, and the power to move forward.
I am grateful to share my testimony today and I am grateful for the opportunity to share my testimony to the people of Idaho. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
